M Slash

Mystery....SOLVED!

2010-11-22T14:35:00.003-05:00

Dear Amazon.com Black Friday Deals Department,

I know you want to keep us in suspense regarding your upcoming deals, but trust me when I say that there is no need for your treasure chest and question mark when they are paired with "hints" that are clearly references to seasons of Friends. Please try again.

Then they came for the Joose

2010-11-19T16:28:00.001-05:00

In recent Four Loko news, my friends and I have been expressing our views to the press. Two friends contributed to this article, while I submitted a question that got posted in this chat.

My question concerned the unlikelihood that the people getting sick after drinking Four Loko were ONLY drinking Four Loko. If there's any constant in the world, it's that college students are idiots (oddly, this point got cut out of my question before publication). They're idiots who make horrible decisions to get as drunk as they can as fast and as cheap as they can. This means drinking eight cans of Natty Light in an hour. It means making a rum and coke that's 3/4 rum. It means being the primary buyers of Everclear. And it means mixing vodka with their Four Loko.

What's lost here is that just because some aren't drinking Four Loko responsibly doesn't mean they can't. And it doesn't mean that they'll drink anything else responsibly, either.

And that is not the government's responsibility nor is it the company's fault.

First they came for the Loko

2010-11-16T21:18:00.003-05:00

I was going to write a post about the ridiculousness that is the upcoming nationwide Four Loko ban, but I think this just about sums it up:

"The FDA is Set to Ban Four Loko in a Defeat of Capitalism and Freedom"

Disclaimer: I've never tried Four Loko, and the closest I've ever come to seeing it in action was when I witnessed some high schoolers shoplifting a case from 7-11 last year. Of course, I do intend to try it before Prohibition sets in, because the government has made it unbelievably attractive.

XXX-III=Me

2010-11-13T22:29:00.000-05:00

I went out to dinner last night for a friend's birthday. She was celebrating her XXX birthday, an important lesson to us all that roman numerals can be used for more than stealing back your town's lemon tree. She chose one of our kickball bars for dinner, which may seem like a surprising move to some. That's understandable, as kickball bars are usually dive bars that smell like heavy amounts of bleach on a good day and beer-soaked, vomit-encrusted bad decisions on a bad day. This one, though, has surprisingly good food on the menu, and amazing food if you're lucky enough to be offered something off the menu.

For our party last night, the owner made us a six-course feast that was one of the best meals of my life. For hors d'oeuvres we had fried brussel sprouts, smoked salmon, prosciutto, and chorizo. The first course was a seafood bisque with scallops and shrimp, followed by a cabbage and radish salad with pupusas. For the third course, we had halibut with a spinach reduction and tabbouleh. The next courses were osso buco so tender the marrow could be eaten like soup, and then a rib eye with fried potatoes. Finally, there was a chocolate soufflé for dessert.

Now, I've never run a marathon. But I think that my experience last night was as long, difficult, and ultimately rewarding as one, if not more so. (This point was proven when our resident marathoner could not finish the rib eye, though perhaps she had begun her sprint to the end too soon when she cheered enthusiastically for the mass consumption of baby cow) And more exciting than the wonderful feeling in my stomach was the reminder that there is damn good cooking in this city, and not necessarily in the most recognized places.

The Situation's New Book: A Review

2010-11-12T17:05:00.002-05:00

MTV’s The Situation recently released his long-awaited opus entitled Here’s the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore. In the coming days, I’ll post what I’m sure will be one of thousands of academic reviews.

Introduction
The book opens, as so many great works do, with a quotation from another famous Italian. The lines chosen from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations remind us of our own fleeting existence in this world, an existence that will most likely be forgotten by all in 100 years time. Will The Situation, like Aurelius himself, avoid such a fate? Will Here’s the Situation be recognized as one of the greatest collection of thoughts of our time? Will my first edition be worth millions one day? The Situation has given himself 133 pages to attain immortality.

Before beginning the main body of his work, Sitch (if I may be so cavalier as to use such an informal nickname in this review) addresses the first of what I’m sure will be many pressing issues in the Italian-American community: the use of the word “guido.” While he admits that it is not a word he employs frequently, he also champions the right his fellow Italians to reclaim the word, much like the GLBTQ community has reclaimed “queer.” In fact, he challenges Irish-Americans to find their own terminology to rally around by addressing this section to “Freckles McGee.” By doing so, he reminds the Irish of the racism they faced decades ago, and challenges their belief that they have been truly accepted as part of White society.

While he recognizes that guido can be used in a derogatory fashion, he rejects the idea that it is, by its nature, an insult. It is a word that is part of Italian-Americans themselves, representative of their lifestyle and heritage. Sitch argues that the spirit of guido goes back to youth, “To the days prehistoric kindergarten when we all thought the tooth fairy was alive.” (p. X) This quote raises fascinating questions: Those days of kindergarten, what made them “prehistoric”? Is The Situation making a subtle point about the loss of innocence? Was learning of the tooth fairy’s death so traumatizing for him that it marked the birth of his pessimistic view of life evidenced by the quotation that opened the book? Was the realization that such magic was not real so damaging to young Sitch that it led him down a path that resulted in the methodical training regimen he employs today? Having learned of the mortality of childhood figures, he perhaps set out to avoid his own mortality as long as possible.

Such an argument may seem farfetched, but let me add an additional piece of evidence. In the season two episode “Sleeping with the Enemy,” The Situation says the following regarding the unhealthy Sammi-Ronnie relationship: “And, uh, ya know, she just took it and smiled. Just like when you’re little and you want to believe Santa Claus is alive. F*ckin’ Santa Claus is dead.” Clearly, the wound is still raw for The Situation. He wonders why everyone won’t wake up and realize that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and (we assume) the Easter Bunny are dead. Why do we cling to these figures? Are we afraid to see how the world really is? Only the Sitch knows that the truth will lead to our empowerment.

Next: The G in GTL

Happy Veteran's Day, from Commie America

2010-11-10T19:14:00.001-05:00

Last Saturday, I walked into the YMCA in downtown DC to see that the TV was set to Al Jazeera, as part of Obama's plan to make sure that's the only channel received by schools, churches, and community centers. I texted YOC, since she majored in terrorist studies, to learn that she had spent the morning at a Veteran's Day parade in...Florida, I think? (Can't keep up...somewhere in the South) Anyway, a parade that featured Shriners and assorted corporate mascots.

I had no idea towns still had parades for Veteran's Day, although I suppose we'll take any chance to honor our troops and McDonalds.

If that story doesn't summarize America, then I don't know what does.

Turn your sarcasm detectors on

2010-09-16T10:26:00.003-04:00

We're all aware of the abomination that occurred Tuesday in Delaware.

Well. It seems O'Donnell's Democratic opponent was a Republican until his early 20s, when he went on a life-changing study abroad.

In which country did this transformation take place?

KENYA.

Where, obviously, he was recruited by the anti-colonialist Marxists to be Obama's right-hand man in handing America over to the Muslims. IT'S ALL IN THE ARTICLE, PEOPLE. Christine is the only person standing between us and Sharia.

I give it 3 days before the crazies take this and run, alleging a conspiracy that involves Obama, Coons, Joe and Beau Biden, and Castle.

Victorious Once More

2010-08-24T20:14:00.006-04:00

A year ago, I brought you this tale of my fight against the Man. Last week, I was faced with a similar battle, this time against the powers at the University of Delaware. I received a ticket dated July 21 of this year, for a car with my father's license plate, addressed to me at my former Delaware address.

A couple things.

I haven't been to UD's campus in about five years. My father's 5-digit license plate has been sitting in a drawer at my sister's since 2006 (Delawareans have a bit of an obsession with license plates. The lower the number, the better). The plate was never on a car registered in my name.

Luckily, resolving this issue was much easier than my DC experience. Instead of going to court and listening to others' tales of police ineptitude, I simply called the University and within minutes they took it off my record, no evidence needed. I really miss Delaware at times like these.

The little things

2010-08-18T21:27:00.006-04:00

11:25 AM me: the meetings are scheduled for eastern time
but the notes all say EST and i'm getting annoyed
it's EDT now, dammit!

3:10 PM me: now someone on the west coast used PST
DO I HAVE TO START BLOGGING AGAIN?

THERE'S NO SALT LEFT!

2010-02-10T15:56:00.001-05:00

Snopocalypse, Day 6:

I was going to start a paper that's due next Wednesday, but then I saw that it's 5-7 pages, not 7-8, so forget that. There are more pressing things to deal with, like the vodka in the kitchen.

Oh, hey, Metro says it's "very unlikely" they'll have aboveground service tomorrow....looks like no class tomorrow, either!

Finally, I support this arrest, and commend the officer in question. Damn hipsters.

Tell me

2010-01-08T21:06:00.004-05:00

Quick question: when you load the dishwasher, do you put knives in handle down or up? I always put the handle up, and implore you do the same, lest you end up like me with a wound from her sister's cutlery. *shakes fist at sister*

That is all.

Hello again

2009-10-21T17:50:00.002-04:00

Hey kids! Long time no see!

Life has been a tad crazy lately, what with work, school, kickball, skeeball and the like. I'll try to update more often now that kickball's over for two months.

Anyway, a quick note to get people off my back ;) And a reminder to cheer on the Phillies!

They still make you?

2009-09-08T21:08:00.004-04:00

Labor Day weekend was a great break from not laboring. I went to Dave and Busters for the first time and scored a sweet Jonas Brothers locked diary for 375 points.

A great addition to my life, I think.

Saturday was extra special, because I was left dumbfounded and speechless, something that does not occur often, let me tell you. I made an innocent comment about how my laffy-taffy fruit roll up thing looked like bacon, when one of my companions remarked, "eww...I hate bacon."

I may have spent the rest of the night staring at him and asking things like, "ALL bacon? Bacon bits? Turkey bacon? Why do you hate life? Are you suicidal?"

Seriously! Bacon! God's perfect food!

Overheard

2009-09-02T15:01:00.004-04:00

Two international students talking over lunch, one attempting to impart wisdom on living in the US to the other:

"What does 'Buffalo' style mean?"
"Oh, it's another term for Tex-Mex. Like Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, you know."

"There's a good place to buy organic food that's cheap. It's Joe's...something. Uncle or something."

It took all of my willpower not to turn around and correct the guy. Actually, it took all of my willpower not to fall on the floor in a fit of laughter.

Now, let's talk about your commercials

2009-08-31T22:33:00.004-04:00

I woke up at 7:30 today, researched and registered for classes, then slept from 10:30-1:30. And I'm beat.

This past weekend was a blur of orientations, driving, crab feasting, and kickballing. The annual crab feast was as good a time as ever, and even included a random fireworks show from the next town over (and not from my aunt's yard, as is sometimes the case). I drove back to Wilmington in the worst rain ever, so bad that I had to pull into the parking lot of a CVS for 20 minutes. It made me miss brunch the next day, since I had to get up early on Sunday to drive back to DC. I hate missing brunch.

Anyway, I need to go to bed. But enjoy this informative link: http://iscaliforniaonfire.com/

Wow

2009-08-26T09:38:00.005-04:00

Well done, Post editors! It's not like he's from a district that might matter to any of your readers, right? Michigan, Montgomery County, all the same!

DC to DE and back

2009-08-25T19:06:00.001-04:00

Not working is all well and good, until Tuesday evening comes and you're bored out of your mind. I've already tried my top boredom solution, taking a nap, so now I'm bored and well-rested.

I got up at 7 today, which is earlier than I had been getting up for work these last few months, and took my car in for an oil change in one of the saddest strip malls in the greater Wilmington area. There's only so much time you can kill at Sears. There isn't, though, a limit on how many sandwiches you can get from Wawa, and so I had it for lunch for the second day in a row. I have a feeling it'll be calling my name this weekend as well.

On a final note, businesses that have a minimum credit card purchase are one of my biggest pet peeves. I should print that article and take it around with me, because they never believe me.

No...just, no

2009-08-24T10:31:00.003-04:00

Changes have been afoot here at the M Slash compound, as last Friday was my last day at work and this Friday is grad school orientation. I have spent my free time bedazzling shirts and hanging with kickball kids, so I feel it's been a good few days.

I head reffed a kickball game yesterday, and was flattered when someone on the losing team said I did a great job, "except for that one missed call." Wanting to know about any mistakes I made, I asked what it was.

"Well, bases were loaded, and I was on third. When I was running home, the catcher never tagged me, he just touched the base, so I should have been safe."

I kept asking him to repeat this, thinking I had misunderstood. "But, bases were loaded, right? And you were on 3rd? And he tagged home plate?" His answer: "Yeah, but since it was a force play, they had to tag me, not the base."

I, obviously, started laughing hysterically and telling everyone on the patio. A bitch move, yes, but if you don't know a rule that's taught in T-ball, dude, I can't help you.

Fun with graphs!

2009-08-15T02:43:00.002-04:00

I spent Thursday night at a bar. Guess when I found out that the Eagles had signed Michael Vick!

DC Hipsters

2009-08-09T13:08:00.001-04:00

I was hanging out with some people on Thursday, two of whom were relatively new to DC (6-8 months here). I forget how we got on the topic, but we started talking about Wonderland, which I said I didn't like because there are too many hipsters there. One of the newbies piped up with, "Hipsters don't go to Wonderland! It's a dive bar!"

...

Yes. According to this very nice, if misled, young man, Wonderland is not a hipster bar. For those of you outside DC, Wonderland is a bar in a gentrifying neighborhood that serves beer in goblets to people wearing ironic clothes. In fact, I believe anyone who dares to do anything un-ironically while there is thrown out. They offer the right mix of "exotic" beers and, as they call them, "great American standards":

Jesus, they have an exclamation point after Pabst Blue Ribbon! PABST BLUE RIBBON! Or, as you may know it, THE hipster beer of choice. (Although I guess they also enjoy Miller Highlife? I'm gonna say it right now: Keystone will be next.) This is damning evidence, because no one would get that excited about PBR unless they're wearing skinny jeans, converse high-tops, and a flannel shirt.

Hell, type in hipster and DC in Yelp, and look at what you get:

I rest my case.

Fun with checks

2009-08-07T13:25:00.003-04:00

So, I'm going to run out of checks soon. What do you all think of this selection for my next set?

Or these, which I think send the perfect message to those to whom I'm indebted.

I AM moving to the South.

If you have to cut down on the amount of money you're giving for Christmas or Easter, here's a great set to fend off any complaints with a good old-fashioned guilt trip.

And, finally, I refuse to purchase these, since I only choose to remember skinny Elvis.

Metro's Saunas

2009-08-05T09:44:00.002-04:00

Has anyone else noticed a high number of cars on the Red Line that are without a functioning cooling system? I was on another one today, and I knew before I stepped into the car that it was going to be a sauna, what with the haze visible through the windows and the number of seats vacant at 8:50 AM at Van Ness. Nevertheless, I got on, because I wanted a seat, dammit. And I think the car in front of it had the same problem.

I'm glad I only have two more weeks or riding the Red Line regularly, although I never thought I'd say that I'm looking forward to the Orange Line. I think the bus and I are going to be good friends.

Dates

2009-08-04T19:07:00.000-04:00

This post by Young Old Crone got me thinking about the dates I've gone on in the past year. There's been the guy who didn't like to do anything on the weekends, the guy with a unibrow, the guy who might be a bit racialist, and, my favorite, the guy(s) who thought it was a date when I didn't. Although that might be more my fault than theirs. Still made for an uncomfortable evening, though.

The worst, though, has been the ones who wish to impart some tidbits of knowledge to me. It may not be that they intended for me to interpret this as though they believe me to be an idiot, but, alas. From the post last week with Mr. "Colombia is a dangerous place" to the unibrow, who offered to read my graduate school admissions essays because, "It's always a good idea to have others review them." This, from a person who had told me, rather proudly, that he "only failed two classes in college." I believe my response to that boast was, "....okayyyy." Maybe it's because I tend to assume that everyone knows the same things I do (hence my disbelief when people didn't know what Bastille Day was), but "helpful" tips such as those just make me angry. Maybe because I then think that they imagine themselves as the worldly, intelligent man guiding a woman through the world. Maybe I read too much into it. Either way, it's the fasttrack to farewell-ville.

OK, MARK!

2009-08-02T19:56:00.002-04:00

I hate having to entertain myself on Sundays. Luckily, kickball starts again next week, so I'll have something to do from 3 on (12 on, if we do bottomless mimosas at the bar beforehand!).

I did nothing today. Watched a movie, napped, and then watched TV. It hasn't been as lazy as a normal non-kickball Sunday, though, since I have to keep my apartment in order so my landlord can show people around this week. Yes, I am moving! To Ballston! I am excited to live so close to the As Seen on TV Store. Although the last time I was there, they didn't have a ShamWow, just fake ShamWows. It was disappointing, as I need the branding for the full effect of owning a ShamWow.

Am I stupid?

2009-07-26T22:17:00.003-04:00

Advice not to give to a person you're interested in, after she says she's getting an MA in Latin American Studies:

"[Colombia] is a dangerous country."

Between that, the cautioning not to "be flashy" while abroad, because "it can get you into trouble," and the following question: "How about gchat? (google chat)," I think it might be time to move along.

Honestly, though, my biggest pet peeve is people assuming I don't know things. Not saying I know everything, but let's at least assume I know the basics.

Wednesday on the couch

2009-07-22T23:41:00.002-04:00

I'm in between kickball seasons, and have spent the past few days on a Netflix binge. Here's what I've watched since Friday:

Bridget Jones' Diary (STILL LOVE)
Fever Pitch (the British version)
Charlie Bartlett
La Historia Oficial (because I'd never seen it, and felt I should, as I am a big fan of Argentina)
The Tudors, Season 1 (not good, but oh so pretty)

Yes, it's been a varied selection, from 16th century England to today. I hadn't spent so much time engrossed in the Tudors since I wrote a report on Henry VIII for my 7th grade history class (I remember that he died on his half birthday, a fact I believed I closed my presentation with for no other reason than because I was 12). The movie is only historically accurate in the sense that England did have a king named Henry VIII who had many marriages, but, nonetheless, it is some enjoyable, cheesetastic viewing. Not since the memorable 2003 miniseries Kingpin has there been such a lolarious show with a cast full of gorgeous men.

Many great things

2009-07-20T21:14:00.002-04:00

Many exciting things happened at work today. First, the ninjas from the Communications Department raided the copy rooms and took all of our fax machines. We can no longer send faxes on our own, and must instead rely on a team of about four to serve all of our faxing needs.
Second, someone left two green peppers in the coffee room. No note or anything, just left them on the counter. That made for some a few laughs.
Third, I HANDED IN MY RESIGNATION! Five weeks! Then school!

Spoilers!

2009-07-19T15:58:00.003-04:00

I saw the the latest Harry Potter last week. I enjoyed it, but then, I tend to take the movies as a separate entity from the books. It's easy to see how some might be dissatisfied with it, for the weirdness of the Harry/Ginny kiss and overly emotional Hermione. The one thing I wished they had done, though, was spend more time investigating Voldemort's background, if only because at least one of those scenes in the book is a major clue about a horcrux. Then again, since they're splitting Deathly Hallows into two movies, I guess they'll have time, if they cut enough of the camping scenes.

I also didn't like how Harry witnessed the Draco/Dumbledore/Snape scene at the end, from under the astronomy tower without being immobilized. I get why they did that, but given that Harry has ignored authority plenty of times if he thought evil forces were afoot, I don't see why he'd follow Dumbledore's orders now. That's a charater trait that's been shown again and again since Sorcerer's Stone.

Also, wow, Dumbledore, what a cockblock.

An email exchange

2009-07-13T21:37:00.002-04:00

From: Cat
To: M Slash

I don't know why, but this made me think of your family...

via awkwardfamilyphotos.com:
"For Christmas my moms entire side of the family gets together. One Christmas when the family was exchanging gifts, my great aunt came over to thank me for the ornament I gave her. She said thank you then took a second look at me and my cousin sitting next to me and told us we’d make a cute couple. No one really knew what to say. Awkward."

From: M Slash
To: Cat

No, no...we're not allowed to marry our cousins anymore. It didn't turn out well.
Trufax.

From: Cat
To: M Slash

lol, I love your family.

Worst special ever

2009-07-10T00:57:00.002-04:00

I went to a happy hour today, at a swanky rooftop bar where the drink specials were as follows:

$4 Dos Equis bottles
$5 Bud and Bud Light bottles
$6 Absolut cocktails
$7 House wines

What, readers, is off about the list above? Are you wondering what universe I've entered? And how I managed to get to one in which $5 Buds are comparable to $4 Dos Equis? I've been wondering that myself.

Huh

2009-07-05T03:20:00.003-04:00

Explain why I'd want to take this itinerary, WMATA:

ILU, Red Line

2009-06-29T21:20:00.004-04:00

Someone committed suicide by standing on the tracks on the red line this afternoon, raising the question, "WTF?" I have to think that his rationale for this last action was to kill himself AND fuck up everyone's commute home. Selfish bastard. At least you could have done it this morning, when I have a copy of the Express with the crossword and sudoku to kill time with (extra sudoku if it's Friday! You couldn't have done it on a Friday?) and the prospect of a shorter day at work. Messing with the evening rush, dude, not cool.

And, oh yeah, RIP.

Back!

2009-06-28T19:18:00.002-04:00

Fantastic trip to the beach. I, of course, brought the house down at karaoke, with some help from my 74-year-old aunt, named the "most adorable thing in Rehoboth" by the gay men sitting next to us. She got to the bar and headed straight to the dance floor, earning free shots for us and the interest of lesbians for her.

T-minus 30 hours

2009-06-19T14:09:00.000-04:00

My packing list for the Annual Family Trip to the Beach, written in the order in which the items came to mind:
Pillow
Blanket
Tattoos
Glow in the dark shot glasses/necklaces/etc.
Hottie whistle
Solo cups
Oatmeal

Woo!

Score one for the girls!

2009-06-19T00:04:00.003-04:00

Tonight was flipcup championships for Thursday kickball. A few of us got to the bar early, and decided to practice a bit. We asked a group of six guys if they wanted to play us, 6 on 2, and they were horrified. "Are you SURE you want to do that?" "We can't do that to you! Take some of our people!" "We're really good; I don't think you want to do this." "Blah, blah, blah." Erin and I insisted that, yes, we wanted to do three cups each and take them on, regardless of their supposed skills. What happened? We kicked their asses, that's what. I wish I had photographed the looks of astonishment and then embarrasment after the first ass-whooping.

Then they looked at our hands and claimed we were carnies. Foiled!

What time is it? WHO KNOWS?

2009-06-17T09:35:00.003-04:00

I attended a free screening of Year One last night (wait for the DVD). Sony demands that all attendees of advance screenings relinquish their cell phones, something that the distributor of Star Trek didn't even request. My plans for pirating this soon-to-be classic film that's destined to sweep the Oscars having been foiled, I was forced to engage in "small talk" with my companions, without even those pre-movie quizzes that ask you to figure out who "Otm Shank" is.

I DID get ice cream, though, so a good night overall.

M Slash 1, DC 0

2009-06-15T20:16:00.002-04:00

I am pleased to announce that I have emerged victorious in my fight against the Man. I went to traffic court yesterday to fight the parking ticket that was wrongly issued to me (or, at least, to a Subaru with the same tag number as my Pontiac), and had the ticket dismissed in about 3 minutes. The judge did a double-take when I answered “No” to the question “This ticket was issued to a Subaru with license plate number …, is this correct?”, and things just went uphill from there.

Shockingly (or not so), my story was not the most appalling of the group. One poor woman parked illegally in a street cleaning zone, got towed to a rush hour zone, then got towed from there to a meter, resulting in three tickets in a matter of hours. Luckily, the judge found the towing records in the system to verify her story, and dismissed the last two tickets. I assume that the towing company chose those spots on purpose so they could continue ticketing and get some sort of financial "thank you" from the city. Oh, DC!

Overheard conversation of the night

2009-06-06T00:56:00.002-04:00

Drunk girl at the bar: "Let's slip-n-slide on the Mall until they kick us off!"
Friend: "Where will we get the water? We need a long hose."
DGATB: "COOLERS, BITCH! And a lot of water balloons."

GOTV!

2009-06-05T20:13:00.002-04:00

Go here and vote for Looking to Score! We're the lime green team, and I'm the one with the ball.

A letter

2009-06-05T10:35:00.001-04:00

Dear Rep. Issa,

You've found me out. I can't wait until the government passes this bill so I can stock up on children for my four weeks off per year. I hope they'll get this done by 2011, because that's when I'll be out of school and looking for work. That should also be enough time for me to get tired of having abortions, because we all know how much fun they are! If I'm still enjoying the delights of that procedure, then it'll be a difficult decision between that and four carefree weeks with a newborn. Do you think I can plan my pregnancies and adoptions for the summer, so I can spend a month at the beach? Although Christmas would be nice, too...but then they get stuck with that awful birthday/Christmas scenario. Whatevs, it's not like it'd be MY birthday!

Cheers,

M Slash

Metroooo

2009-06-01T20:12:00.000-04:00

The air hasn't been working too well at Metro Center lately, so it feels as though you really are descending into the bowels of hell. Adding to the atmosphere has been a delightful collection of events, including a maintanence man boarding the car, entering the conductor's booth, and asking, "What's wrong with the train?" right before we start heading to Dupont Circle.

But the most jaw-dropping moment came late last week, while exiting the train at Metro Center. A mom had her two young kids with her, and held their hands as they made their way through the crowds on the platform. Another woman came running towards them, trying to catch the train. She had to sidestep the three of them, and, as she missed the train by seconds, yelled, "They're walking IN A LINE, HOLDING HANDS! Come on!"

Yes, because how ridiculous is it for a mother to hold her 4-year-old's hand while in a crowded place? I think that Metro etiquette campaign needs to address more than just giving up your seat.

My Brilliant Idea

2009-05-21T23:33:00.003-04:00

Since the Nats are on track for a 40-win season, and the attendance reflects this, I have a brilliant idea to increase revenue. They should offer ticket packages for each NL team. I mean, the crowd at the Phillies game on Saturday was 2/3 Phillies, and I bet a lot of them would buy discounted tickets for all of the Phillies games in DC if sold in such a package. DC is such a transient town that I think there'd be buyers for every team.

And to those who balk at the idea of marketing to the competition, remember that the ticket revenue helps the Nats! Plus, the more people become familiar with the team, the more likely they'll cheer for them as their second favorite (OK, maybe not fans of the Phils, Mets, Braves, or Marlins). I don't see how this could fail.

BUT HOW DID SHE KNOW IT WAS ME?

2009-05-18T20:29:00.003-04:00

Amanda and I find new ways to communicate:

20004: I'm sure the video team did a great job editing, but I second having written versions of the clues for those without the luxury of high-speed internet access, sound on our work computers, the patience to watch the videos, or a 3 hour car ride with Amanda on Friday.

washingtonpost.com: Moira, watch them and like them. Everyone else: there were a couple of chatters seconding the request for written versions. I'll consider putting up the script that we worked from, but I promise you, a written version isn't as much fun. You miss gems like the lady wondering if there is a ghost named Herbert.

Gene Weingarten: We need to write a book about a ghost named Herbert.

Police Ineptitude

2009-05-16T10:43:00.003-04:00

I was driving over to a friend's house last night, when I noticed that there was something on my windshield. I pulled over to grab it, thinking I had gotten a ticket for missing street cleaning or something. No. It was a parking ticket for not having a parking permit displayed. The brilliant officer put the ticket on my windshield RIGHT NEXT TO WHERE MY PARKING PERMIT IS PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED. Moreover, the ticket has my tag number and state, but lists the car as a 3-door Subaru, when I drive a 5-door Pontiac.

How did this happen?

Either DC has started allowing illiterates in their parking enforcement corps; this man is a complete idiot; or he saw a 3-door Subaru the first time he drove through and then thought my car was the same one.

Now I have to go fight this ticket, all because of this man's inability to notice a sticker on my windshield. No other traffic cop has had this problem.

I can't wait to tell all the lawyers at work about this.

Our tax dollars at work!

2009-05-12T22:19:00.000-04:00

The President and Founder of the Alabama chapter of the M Slash Fan Club brought something very important to my attention today: the CDC has e-cards!

Yes, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention has a selection of notes you can send to friends and family with encouraging messages. My favorites so far are this one (which goes nicely with this one), this one, because who the hell would you send that to?, and this one, because WTF?

Anyway, I can't believe someone thought this was a good idea. OK, maybe a few of the cards, but no one needs an e-card about syphilis.

IMPORTANT NEWS

2009-05-12T00:08:00.002-04:00

After 2.5 years, MY CAR NO LONGER MAKES A HORRIBLE NOISE WHEN YOU OPEN THE DOOR! You should have seen me in the parking lot at Giant after I had picked my car up from the shop; I kept opening and closing the door with a look of awe on my face. I was not expecting this! I can now open the door ALL THE WAY without embarrassment. Greatest surprise ever.

Did I?

2009-05-09T10:19:00.002-04:00

You know you play a lot of kickball when you wake up, wonder if you left your credit card at the bar, and think, "Eh, might as well leave it there for now."

I joked on Wednesday about starting one of those tabs that Norm had on Cheers.

Hmmph

2009-05-05T10:26:00.000-04:00

You know you're a Latin Americanist when, out of all the cards on someecards.com, this is the one that offends you the most:

I'll be spending this Cinco de Mayo listening to Zoe, Cafe Tacuba, Moenia, and Molotov, among others. But not Mana. I hate Mana.

Old fogey

2009-05-04T20:06:00.004-04:00

I partied with high schoolers this weekend! Not intentionally.
I went to a house party Friday night, and we started playing flip cup in the garage with the door open. A random guy came up and asked if he could bring some friends in (they were clearly looking for a party). Since he looked like he could be about 19-20, the hosts said yes, figuring he meant 4-5 people.

Then came the onslaught.

About 15 kids crashed the party, rolling in with cans of Schlitz and 40s of Miller High Life. They were a friendly group, one of them even offering to share his Schlitz with me when I had to refill my cup for the game (I glanced at it and said, "Ha, no. Pass me the Beast." - No one said we were classy). We knew they were younger than we first thought, but didn't know HOW young until I mentioned that I'd be turning 26 this month. One of the kids said to his friend, "Whoa, she's 10 years older than me."

Yes. I wish I had gotten a picture of the face of one of the residents after this statement. My shoulder hurt for hours after his death grip of panic. After some freaking out, we threw them out of the house, save for one poor kid left in the bathroom, for whom we made a human wall stretching from the bathroom door to the exit.

I'm so old high schoolers think I'm old! At least they know people in their mid-20s still party! Some of us, at least.

Communists!

2009-04-28T22:51:00.002-04:00

I got an email today with the subject line, "What Are You Doing for MayDay?" My first reaction was, "OMG, THE REPUBLICANS WERE RIGHT...WE'RE COMMUNISTS NOW!" Because the one thing I will NOT be doing on May 1st is celebrating Communist Labor Day. While I will not rule out dancing around a maypole, as that is acceptably capitalist, it is not likely. I am a good American, and the only holiday I celebrate in early May is Cinco de Mayo.

Actually, it turns out the email was about some fake holiday libraries and FEMA set up to "preserve our history." Communists.

Happy Friday!

2009-04-24T07:44:00.001-04:00

This has made the rounds on the interwebs, but it's pretty neat:

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

2009-04-22T08:49:00.002-04:00

Hey people at McDonalds: Can you please not look so pissed off when I ask for the dressing for my salad? All you have to do is turn around, take a step (or perhaps two) and open the fridge under the counter behind you. Yes, it's lunchtime, but an extra two second wait never caused anyone to walk out.*

* This is likely not true. Hell, it's probably caused ME to walk out.

FINALLY

2009-04-18T00:49:00.002-04:00

I went to a DC United tailgate today organized by NAKID. And by tailgate I mean I did not leave the parking lot for the entire game. Why would I, when there was free food and beer? Who needs a soccer game when you've got that?

The highlight, though, was not the five kegs of Coors Light. Two tents down from us, someone had hung the flag of Cordoba province with the words, YO AMO RIO IV. I quickly spotted someone in an Argentine national team jersey, and kept my eye on him. About an hour later, I got a chance to talk to him, and, sure enough, he was from Cordoba. He complimented my Spanish (a bit generous of him) and, surprised that I knew of the town from which he came, gave me a free t-shirt. It's an XL, but who cares? FREE.

After the game ended, and Rob finished cooking burgers, we headed to H Street and hung out at The Pug, where I got free cheeseballs and saw a homeless man passed out in the men's room. It's an up-and-coming neighborhood.

Another letter

2009-04-16T08:18:00.001-04:00

Dear Maggie Moo's on 10th St NW,

I was all excited for your free scoop giveaway yesterday, and I walked the three blocks to your location from my office building in the rain without an umbrella, eager to sample your goods. How great was my disappointment when I saw the sign posted on your door saying that your staff was in training, and so you would not be participating in the promotion? Not too great, actually, as I've never tried your ice cream. My anger, though, was at a high level. I was all in the mood for ice cream, so I went around the corner to Gifford's. You can bet I'll never visit you guys in the future, since you don't even care enough about wooing customers to postpone training for another day. Seriously, are you doing that well in this recession that you can afford to say, "Screw it, we don't need to win over new customers! Let them keep going to Ben and Jerry's or Gifford's!" Because I sort of doubt the attractiveness of premium ice cream in this economy.

Yours,

M Slash

Yeah, You!

2009-04-14T20:25:00.003-04:00

FOUND: A note left in the trash closet by someone threatening to lay the smack down in my building:

Lesson: Don't leave your receipt from a delivery order with your phone number in the bag with the food.

RIP, Harry

2009-04-13T19:22:00.000-04:00

A great voice was silenced today. Like most Phillies fans of my generation, I grew up listening to Harry Kalas and Richie Ashburn do the play-by-play and color. Even though the team was horrible for most of those years, it was always worth tuning in just to hear them call the game. My first Phillies-related memory is Mike Schmidt's retirement at the Vet, and hearing Harry do a home-run call for him for the last time. When I was about eight, I used to use the remote as a microphone and pretend to be calling the game in the booth with them. Everything was better when he was the announcer: baseball, NFL documentaries, the Puppy Bowl, Campbells soup commercials.

A sad day for Philadelphia. As David Montgomery said, "We lost our voice today."

An open letter

2009-04-07T01:31:00.001-04:00

Dear Prospective Georgetown Undergrads,

Hello. I am a 2005 graduate of the fine university you're considering attending. I am also a prospective graduate student for the fall, and spent the day on campus for an open house. As such, I'd like to share some things with you:

Good Lord, are you all a spoiled bunch.

Now, please don't take that personally. It's just that, after seeing the changes that have happened in the four years since I graduated, I can't believe how the University is coddling you. Have you seen the food court in the Leavey Center? I bet you were all, "Oh, huh, a Taco Bell, KFC, and Subway. That's kinda cool." I, on the other hand, thought, "JESUS CHRISTMAS! They have a KFC now?!? WTF?"

You see, when I was an innocent freshman, the food court had two sandwich shops (not Subway), a pizza place selling the exact same pizza found in the dining hall, and a Taco Bell express. My sophomore year, they got rid of Taco Bell, and replaced it with an empty space. NO ONE ate here. Maybe some campus visitors who didn't know any better, but if we had to be in Hoya Court we made sure to get something from Vittles or Uncommon Grounds. And you had to get to Vittles early to make sure you got something decent. Now I hear rumors of a Cosi?!? You know when I first ate at Cosi? When I was 22 and an alumna, that's when! If we wanted Subway, we had to walk 1/2 mile both ways, uphill, in the snow, to Wisconsin or M. Burger King? Rosslyn. KFC? HA!

Moving on. The on-campus bar. The one mere steps away from where I lived my sophomore and senior years. The one that used to be a dining hall that wasn't open on the weekends. Do you know what we had to do if we wanted to drink at 5? We walked across campus to the Tombs, the way John Carroll intended. Yes, it was cold in winter, and, yes, the campus is one big wind tunnel, but so much greater was the joy of arriving in the basement of 36th and Prospect. Sure, we could have gone to Hoyas, but who the hell went to Hoyas?

Anyway, I just wanted to share these thoughts with you. Oh, and please turn your music down and get the hell off my lawn.

Thank you,

M Slash

Where

2009-04-05T02:07:00.002-04:00

the hell have I been? I had NO IDEA stamps were going up again, until I saw a sign in my mailroom dated Feb. 11th. I still don't see the point of buying forever stamps, since I use about 15 stamps a year, so 44 cents it is!

VICTORY!

2009-04-03T08:23:00.003-04:00

My Thursday night team won yesterday, an amazing feat when you consider that we only won one game during the winter season, and that was due to a forfeit. As one of my teammates said, we were always an outdoor team trapped inside. Also, we only played two and a half innings due to a delayed start and darkness, and the captains on the other team didn't show. But our victory stands!

That was a good end to an exhausting day. There was a major round of layoffs at work yesterday, and even though I strongly suspected my job was safe (it was), it was still stressful. Luckily, my friends made it through unscathed, but our floor is going to look very different next week.

Freeeeeee (dom)

2009-03-31T23:03:00.003-04:00

I went to a free screening of Adventureland tonight. Ehhhhhhh. Enjoyed it for the most part, but glad I didn't pay for it. The plot is pretty much Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist with the cast aged four years, and I didn't enjoy that movie enough, either. Maybe I'm just being harsh because I Love You Man was so good and I saw this too soon (seriously, go see I Love You Man! On my list of Apatow-esque comedies, it falls lower than Sex Drive but higher than Role Models. On my list of Paul Rudd films, where perfection = still not as good as Clueless, it's above Role Models and lower than Anchorman. I plan to create an entire movie rating system based these models).

Anyway, the highlight of my evening was the curly fries.

New Slogan!

2009-03-31T08:02:00.002-04:00

Washington, DC: The Recession Vacation Capital of the USA! Or at least the parts of the USA within a reasonable driving distance. I admit that I've never been to the Tidal Basin during the festival, because I'm of the belief that if you've seen one cherry blossom, you've seen them all, and the trees further up the Mall work just as well, are less crowded, and can be seen easily during my lunch break.

Come on, now!

2009-03-30T05:14:00.002-04:00

OH Good God. If you want to watch The English Patient, dude, watch the damn movie! Can your wife not go do something else for an evening? Do you live in a studio apartment with no entertainment outside? Was she never away for a night? Did you ask if she'd mind if you went ahead and watched it without her? Do you have a life of your own?

Ah, history

2009-03-27T19:48:00.002-04:00

In today's Express, there was an article about Manischewitz that included this quote:

"Dov Behr did for matzo what Henry Ford did for automobiles."

Heh. I'm sure Mr. Ford would be THRILLED with that comparison.

Huh

2009-03-25T22:20:00.003-04:00

Something I'm wondering after tonight's Lost:

If the bounty hunter had been tracking Sayid, and, presumably, knew he was a member of the Oceanic 6, wouldn't she also make it a point to know who the other 4 adults of the group were? If not for job purposes, than just out of curiosity when she took on the assignment? If so, then wouldn't she have noticed these people were on the same flight to Guam that she was about to board, and then understood and granted Sayid's wish to take the next plane?

Not a good showing

2009-03-24T20:03:00.003-04:00

After the movie on Friday, some of us went to Atomic and played scattergories. With the letter J having been rolled, we proceeded down our lists. One prompt this round happened to be "people in the Bible." Joseph was the first to pop into my head, and other responses were Joshua and the popular "blank." We remarked on how difficult this round had been, why there weren't more Biblical names that started with J, until I suddenly exclaimed, "Oh my God...JESUS!"

The movie was good, btw

2009-03-23T21:40:00.000-04:00

Friends, Jessica and I witnessed two very sad events on Friday at the theater in Silver Spring. We were standing in front of the concession stand, waiting for our friends to arrive, watching others go through the first ticket check.*

The first drama involved a group of girls, perhaps around 15. One of them, in either a show of stupidity or teenage arrogance, was holding a brown bag that I, some 25 feet away, could tell was from Chipotle. The ticket-taker, a young black man,** in his role as guardian of the sanctity of $4 hot dogs, referred her to the customer service stand on his right. The poor lass argued and argued, but to no avail. The saddest part of this tale? Her friend was carrying a purse big enough to carry a family-sized box of cereal, in the original packaging. I felt sorry for the girl, as, clearly, no one ever told her the secret to sneaking in food to the movies. Rule 1 being, of course, the "sneaking" aspect.

Shortly after the girl's failed attempt to salvage her dinner, we spotted our friend. She was second in line, behind a young African-American gentleman. The man in front of her had a backpack on, and this aroused the suspicion of the ticket-taker. Jess and I watched as the customer held his bag out to be searched for any contraband snacks. At this point, we were fearful. Why? Because our friend (let's call her "Bailey") also had a backpack with her. In contrast to that of the person in front of her, hers was filled with...well, let's say with drinks that you can't buy at this particular theater. Jess, always an empathizer, turned around saying she couldn't watch this. I, intrigued with the process, continued snacking on pretzal bites and taking in the scene.

What happened? I think you know, readers. Bailey was let through without a glance at her bag. We had witnessed racial profiling. Not only regular racial profiling, but black-on-black racial profiling! Performed by someone in the same age group as the victim! I was appalled.

*Why do they have two? Why must you show your ticket before the concession stand and then again to enter the movie area?

**This is an important detail.

Why

2009-03-22T21:15:00.000-04:00

Is Disney selling eggs?

Question

2009-03-20T08:52:00.002-04:00

I'm running late, but I want to ask what the big deal is about Obama appearing on the Tonight Show and filling out a March Madness bracket. I don't think it diminishes the office in any way (any more than W did, at least), and I'd rather a president act appropriately in various settings, be they formal or purely for entertainment, than be inappropriate in a more Presidential setting with, say, the Pope.

Honestly, though, I wouldn't have cared if W had gone on say, Letterman, and I don't care now. It's not like he's hosting SNL, here.

Oh no!

2009-03-18T22:17:00.003-04:00

See, I've just been choosing cheaper beers during dinner, rather than a $90 bottle of wine instead of a $120 bottle. I think that's the best way, honestly.

Actually, I rarely drink while eating. I sometimes eat while drinking, but there's a difference.

Yawwwn

2009-03-18T21:50:00.003-04:00

I got home at 1 this afternoon, after leaving the hostel at 5 PM EDT yesterday. I took the subte to the shuttle office, took their bus to the airport, stood in line after line at Ezeiza, got into Atlanta at 6:30, went through customs, landed at BWI at 11, took the shuttle to the train station, got on the MARC at 12, switched to the metro at Union Station, and then walked to my apartment. Then I slept.

I forgot how much Ezeiza sucks. I stood in line to check in, then moved to another line to pay the departure tax, then went on to passport control, then through security, then lined up to go through a more invasive security to enter the gate, and then finally lined up to board.

Luckily, I had an entire middle aisle to myself to stretch out. I managed a couple of hours of sleep, which is amazing for me on a plane. I had enough energy to go through the customs process, which: what is the point of being a US citizen if I can't breeze through passport control? That line was ridiculous.

2009-03-17T14:24:00.002-04:00

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

When I was here last (five years ago), St. Patrick's Day was only celebrated by a few locals who were eager to embrace a chance to drink all day and wear fun outfits. Suddenly, in the past few years, the day has grown exponentially. The Irish bars around the city are having day-long specials (although they haven't gotten into the habit of opening at 8-when I went to lunch at a bar called Clover at 1, it was empty and the decorations looked out-of-place), and there's a parade tonight downtown. Argentina is apparently home to the 5th largest Irish community in the world, with 500,000 people claiming Irish heritage (including the family of Che Guevara, one of whose ancestors was from Galway). They haven't quite mastered the celebration, yet, though, as the beers on special are Isenbeck (Argentine) and Warsteiner.

I'm not that into celebrating like crazy, anyway, so I'm not too sad to be missing the parade to go to the airport. I'm wearing green; I'm emphasizing my very Irish first name; and I'll have a drink on the plane.

Damn height-related discrimination!

2009-03-15T16:51:00.003-04:00

Proof that St. Patrick's Day is getting more popular in Buenos Aires...bar owners and party organizers are getting more serious about their plans:

Need a midget and/or dwarf type person for acting role. Role is to be a Leprechaun for St. Patricks Day party. Future work possible during Christmas.

Location: Palermo
Compensation: 1 peso per cm
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

And I got an hour back!

2009-03-15T13:30:00.000-04:00

I walked down to Palermo viejo yesterday to do some shopping. It was another day of God-awful humidity, when it can't decide if it is humid enough to rain or not. I walked down calle Armenia, where the trendy shops suddenly stop and a huge Armenian church appears. Across the street from the church is a cultural center that houses a restaurant and tango classes for the public. Looking in a guidebook here in the hostel, it says the neighborhood is populated with "Buenos Aires' large Armenian Jewish community." I had to read that sentence a few times to make sure I hadn't missed a key word between "Armenian" and "Jewish", since, well, I don't think all of the Armenian Jews in the world would be enough to be considered a "large" community. (Wikipedia tells me there are 750 Jewish people in Armenia. Frankly, that's more than I would have thought). Anyway, I suppose the author of that section missed the huge church that takes up one side of the block.

For dinner, I went to a cheap parrilla in San Telmo, and then walked back to the hostel with a few people. We stopped to listen to some live music at a bar on 9 de Julio, and had a few beers while there. Eventually, I, as is customary on this trip, ended up back in Palermo Viejo where people were lining up down the block for some bars. Absolutely ridiculous.

Anyway, a good night, and now I'm off to walk around some more.

Sabor clasico!

2009-03-13T23:31:00.000-04:00

I was a typical American today. Faced with a need for coffee and lunch, I happened upon a Starbucks and went in. I wanted something fast and cheap, and this had the additional benefit of providing strong coffee to go. I bought a sandwich of chicken salad made with hearts of palm and salsa golf.

Later, I was in the mood for ice cream, since it was about 88 degrees and humid out. I went into Galerias Pacifico to see if my favorite heladeria was still there. It was not. In its place, horrifyingly, was a Freddo, the Ben and Jerry's of Argentina. Figuring I may as well go to McDonalds, I walked down Florida and bought a dulce de leche McFlurry with Cadbury milk chocolate pieces. Amazing. I chatted with an older gentleman who appeared to have come to the McDonalds to watch the news, and listened as he ranted against the president and her husband. I am not a fan of either, so that was cool.

We just had a BBQ on the upstairs patio, so I had lots of meat :) AMAZING!

Ojo de bife!

2009-03-13T02:25:00.003-04:00

Just got back from a night out, at the early hour of 4:30 (yes, that is early). Had a good steak with fries for dinner, and then some beer and a drink called crisis de identidad, with Gancia, Cachaça, orange juice, and sugar. Good stuff.

I learned some things about my companions tonight. One of them, a gentleman on spring break from college, took an extra-long break by taking his exams early. How did he manage that? He told his professors that he was coming down here to do volunteer work. Since he gave two pesos to a kid today, he thinks that fulfills his obligations.

I also learned, from someone who works for the company, that no alcohol is permitted on Exxon ships, as a result of the Exxon Valdez. When asked if drinking was a factor in that incident, he said, "it was part of it." From now on, whenever I do something sort of dumb while under the influence, I plan on yelling, WELL, AT LEAST I HAVEN´T CAUSED A HUGE ECOLOGICAL DISASTER TONIGHT. I advise you all to do the same. Unless, of course, your evenings often end with you dumping oil on baby seals, in which case, search for another man-made disaster that was probably caused by drunken folk. I´m sure there are many.

Ahhhh

2009-03-12T14:40:00.002-04:00

I arrived safe and sound this morning, and, after a nap, went out to enjoy the city. I'd forgotten that I ate more salad when living here than I have at any other point. My study abroad semester was when I learned to love beets and hearts of palm, and both are more often included in salads here than at home. I also had an empanada, which, I must say, puts Julia´s to shame (and I like Julia's). I don't pretend to be able to only eat from local restaurants, as the Starbucks has already gotten my attention (five years ago, the only way to get a coffee to go was from one of those machines like they have in offices) and McDonald's is advertising what appears to be a McFlurry with Cadbury. I'll be trying that.

SDST?

2009-03-10T21:04:00.002-04:00

As I'm heading off to the Southern Hemisphere, I'm going to have the opportunity to go through four time changes in two weeks, while only being in two time zones! Of course, we switched to DST on Sunday, and then I switch to Argentine time (currently 2 hours ahead of EDT), THEN, I go BACK to standard time in Buenos Aires THIS Sunday, and, finally, back to EDT when I return to DC.

Daylight Saving Time has a spotty history in Argentina. The country didn't observe it the last time I was there, and, in fact, hasn't on a regular basis since 1972. The last time the clocks were turned forward in that era, they were never turned back, so the nation was on DST from then on, with occasional periods observing Super DST (+2 hours ahead of standard time). On Sunday, they'll be moving from SDST back to DST.

Stamps, anyone?

2009-03-09T21:04:00.003-04:00

As I've heard back from schools, I find it interesting to compare the acceptance letters, particularly how they choose to treat the economic aspect of graduate school; always a concern, but especially so now. American and NYU sent huge packets of material, with annual reviews, course lists, syllabi, and invitations to visit. American made no mention of finances, except for the usual aid letter. NYU turned its actual acceptance letter into a three page missive that said, "We can't give you funding, but please come anyway! Other places will help you! Promise! Read about them!" and then sent another packet two days later with more the same information in greater detail. It was just short of writing, "We know the economy sucks, and there's almost no way you'll come to a notoriously expensive city with no help, BUT WE NEED STUDENTS! We'll let you in and show you how to get money from other departments! It'll add to your education!"

As for Georgetown? They notified me the same way they did when I applied for undergrad. A thin envelope with two pieces of paper: an acceptance letter and a form to send back with my decision (and check). And no return envelope. They don't like to be too "enthusiastic," preferring to keep us guessing if they really want us or not, just like those women who swear by The Rules.

Yeesh

2009-03-08T17:16:00.002-04:00

I'm headed to Argentina on Wednesday, and so was doing some preparatory reading today. I think this guide may be a little out of date:

Currency
"The official Argentine currency is the Peso which is on a par with the US dollar and fluctuates with it. There are notes of 2, 5, 10, 20, 50 and 100 pesos and coins of 1, 2 and 5 pesos, and 1, 5, 10, 25 and 50 centavos.

$1US = 1.00 PESO"

Please note:

"After much deliberation, Duhalde abandoned in January 2002 the fixed 1-to-1 peso-dollar parity that had been in place for ten years. In a matter of days, the peso lost a large part of its value in the unregulated market. A provisional "official" exchange rate was set at 1.4 pesos per dollar."

I cannot wait to see how President de la Rua is doing.

Pats self on back

2009-03-07T20:44:00.003-05:00

I have finished the grad school application process 4 for 4! Due to an unofficial offer of a fellowship that I'm waiting to hear more about, my plans may change. Regardless, I'm thrilled with the outcome.

AHHHHHHHHH

2009-03-04T22:57:00.002-05:00

I was going to try to go to bed early tonight, but now I can't because I looked at a screenshot of the creepy statue on LOST. I don't know why this freaks me the hell out, but GOOD GOD.

Please?

2009-03-04T08:37:00.002-05:00

I don't want to get my hopes up, but since it's now March 4th, and this is what the forecast looks like, I think we're at the end of the bitter cold, right? Right? This is it? No more highs in the 20s with wind chills in the single digits? I can stop putting on two coats to go outside? My heaviest jacket can stay in the closet until after Thanksgiving?

Suspicion

2009-03-03T08:49:00.002-05:00

My place of employment has an emergency system that automatically phones and emails employees when something is amiss. A few weeks ago, we received alerts on consecutive days, the first because the water had been shut off in the building, and the second because the cafeteria would be closed for breakfast. With this precedent, you'd think that they'd contact us when the company was going to be opening on a two-hour delay due to snow. You would, of course, be mistaken. I suspect they didn't want to spread the word too much, and instead hope that some employees would arrive on their normal schedule. Luckily, I knew to call the secret number on the back of our ID badges, and so didn't give them any of my time for free (we got paid for those two hours). Of course, if I had been one of those poor souls who showed up on time, I would have just found a nice place to nap.

Why not 52-48?

2009-02-26T23:44:00.002-05:00

I was reading this article from Thursday's Post on young conservatives, and a particular part stuck out at me. See if you have the same reaction:

Later, in a phone interview, Siggins says he struggles with some of his party's more culturally orthodox ideals. "Because I am in this generation and was raised in a pro-gay-marriage era, I am only a little bit against gay marriage, but only a little, like 53 percent to 47," he says. "I have about a dozen gay friends, 30 or 20, and they would all back me up. In college, I used to have lunch with them. . . . We went ice skating once."

A few things.

1) How can you be "only a little bit" against gay marriage? It's not like gun control or abortion, where you can say you're for it in this instance but not in that one. Either you think they should be allowed to get married or you don't. And what would 53% be, anyway? "Well, you can get married, but the reception is going to be cash bar. Open bar is for us straight folk. THEN NO ONE WILL WANT TO COME TO YOUR WEDDING ANYWAY, HAHAHAHA. My evil plan, let me show you it!"

2) I suddenly feel as though every friendship I've ever had with a gay person has been a sham. Why? Because we have never gone ice skating. Clearly, that is the pinnacle of gay-straight platonic relationships. Here I was, thinking that the nights singing along to Kelly Clarkson were enough. What must I do to reach that ice skating level, gay friends?!?

3) The gentleman quoted above is obviously the heterosexual most beloved by any gay person ever. Why, he claims to have a dozen gay friends! (Although I am wondering when a dozen became 20-30...was this covered on the same day we discussed straight/gay ice skating?) And they would all back him up! Remembering their days at the lunch table! Seriously, can you even remember who you used to eat lunch with at college? I don't think I even liked half the people. Dinner was MUCH more of a sign of friendship.

Huh?

2009-02-24T21:03:00.003-05:00

Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but did Clarence Thomas just PUSH PAST Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

Update:
The blogger at Macleans saw the same thing I did. (9:04)

Join early!

2009-02-24T08:12:00.002-05:00

This season of Big Love has been so good it's making me reconsider the offer from the bartender at Hamilton's to call him so I can be his first wife. That's the one with all the power, people.

Big day!

2009-02-21T11:33:00.002-05:00

My sisters turn 55 today! I'm off to Delaware to celebrate the halfway mark of their 10 year journey to 60.
In a few years, I'll be exactly half their age! Exciting!

AJ, Biff, and Punchy

2009-02-20T19:00:00.002-05:00

A gchat conversation, in which we discuss baseball, presidents, and fruit drinks:

BFF’S BF: an oriole trounces the liberty bell
ugh but the nats are lame. i hate that. dc and its having to name teams
capitals, nationals is lame
ugh and the president races
teddy roosevelt 0 wins :-(
me: well...I don't want to admit how long it took me to realize the sixers are named for 1776
BFF’S BF: HA really?
me: yes
BFF’S BF: im surprised
and im not gonna lie
disappointed
me: ha
BFF’S BF: u let me down
ur better than that
me: i know!
but so is T Roosevelt
and look at him
they should introduce FDR. have him race around in a wheelchair
BFF’S BF: i blame the shape of his head
BFF’S BF: the rest are long
his is wide
wind resistance
or the asshole in the suit is slow as hell
i'll train and race
Win every time
me: i know he's flipping out about this
the man was not a loser
BFF’S BF: they should introduce
american lion. aka, Andrew Jackson
me: he'd just shoot everyone
BFF’S BF: i know
me: or order them sent on a march of death
BFF’S BF:the presidential trail of tears
me: when I was 6, we went to DC
I got presidential flashcards. AJ scared the HELL out of me
BFF’S BF: i like where this is going
me: my mom had to take him out of the deck
BFF’S BF: hahaha taft didn scare u
me: he was just fat. AJ was all scarred and stuff. crazy hair. just look at a $20
BFF’S BF: haha he does look like a war torn doc from back to the future
me: haha
yes
trying to find his delorean. that the cherokee stole
BFF’S BF: haha has to have a duel with biff
and then find love in the west. the 3rd one was such crap. doc had a girl. and a train. count me out on the fun
me: i like the second one
hoverboards!
BFF’S BF: haha yeah
i always liked biff's lacky
with the 3d glasses
american badass
poor grant
those commericals with the bill guys jackson, franklin and grant creep me out
franklin is the creepiest
me: i love ben franklin
BFF’S BF: no way
me: remember that office episode? he was such a whore
BFF’S BF: a wise whore
me: the best kind
BFF’S BF: whatev if u and i went back in time
i would be like wheres m slash
find u in franklins harem
me: damn straight!
philadelphia love
BFF’S BF: thats cool i would be hookin up with betsy ross. knit me a flag bitch!
me: haha what
BFF’S BF: HAHAHAHAHA
me: why is kool-aid man holding a pitcher of kool-aid? isn't that a little disturbing?
BFF’S BF: bc he cant serve himself. he's the boss no one drinks him
me: i think he's actually their god
BFF’S BF: haha
remember the clear kool aid man mugs
they were like early frost mugs
awesome
that and ecto kool. fond parts of my childhood
me: ecto cooler! yes
BFF’S BF: so good
my grandma always had it
i need to ask her why she doenst get juice boxes anymore
me: or some hawaiian punch
in the cans
BFF’S BF: oh man. how bout a nice hawaiian punch
SURE
then he would knock u out
BFF’S BF:yummmmmmm
me: 50% fruit juice!
BFF’S BF: The Hi-C products used to be the color implied by their flavor, but in 2002, Hi-C was re-introduced as a yellowish clear beverage that would not stain clothing. Thus, flavors like Shoutin' Orange Tangergreen lost their distinctive colors.
ugh kids today. no wonder they shoot up schools and are bratty bitches on sweet 16
always placated to. guess what- when i was a kid-spill ur juice box on ur shirt
f it. grass stains would soon join them. Mud, cuts, like when i would go down to the creek, and my mom would get pissed. “were u at the creek” wet shoes and mud everywhere. catching crawfish. awesome
me: "Ecto Cooler (renamed Shoutin' Orange Tangergreen in 2001, then later renamed Crazy Citrus Cooler in 2006, Finally discontinued in 2007)"
me: check out this amazingly scholarly look at "punchy"
me: “Understanding that his punch is central to his identity, we explored in depth how the punch connected with the audience and what it said to them. Our conclusion recognized Punchy’s punch as a metaphor for overwhelming refreshment rather than an act of physical violence, suggesting a number of acceptable ways to approach it without diluting its authenticity.”
me: i'm going to start punching people
and say it's a metaphor for overwhelming refreshment
for me
BFF’S BF: haha

21 days!

2009-02-18T18:45:00.002-05:00

Well, I've found one must-see place for my return to Argentina! From Frommer's:

Best Restaurant for Kids: Garbis, Scalabrini Ortiz, at Cervio (tel. 11/4511-6600), is an Armenian restaurant chain, with what one British expat friend of mine loves to call a "jumpee castle" where she can bring her kids. The best one is in Palermo Soho, and adults can eat in peace while the kids entertain themselves on the indoor playground.

Seriously, if they had this in the US, I probably would have eaten some Armenian food besides pilaf as a child.

On an unrelated note, I've realized that Georgetown's collapse this season is not due to talent, coaching, or luck, but rather to my return to the University. You see, I was part of the lucky class of 2005, whose 4 year career at Gtown was sandwiched between two Sweet Sixteen appearances. What occurred in between? Well, my freshman year, the then-coach declined an invitation to the NIT. The next year, he accepted it, and they lost in the finals. My junior year saw the Hoyas make the impressive achievement of not making the Big East tournament. Nothing of interest happened my senior year, but there was no NCAA appearance.

Hoya Saxa, everyone!

Not so serious rant ahead

2009-02-17T08:09:00.002-05:00

People, it's been quite a while since the Cupid Shuffle was released. Why, then, do you insist on doing whatever dance you feel like instead of the intended one? I witnessed this twice in the past week, first at kickball and then on Saturday. Listen to the lyrics; the instructions are right there!

And, ha!

Whew!

2009-02-14T18:29:00.004-05:00

I am officially grad school-bound! I got an acceptance e-mail from Georgetown today! Their program was my first choice, so I'm feeling pretty good right now.

Yay!

Two Things

2009-02-13T01:19:00.003-05:00

First, my friend the DJ had a good observation tonight, when he said that he never thought he'd see the day when the President had more rhythm than the people he DJ'd for. We had an especially good evening of songs tonight, with not one, not two, but THREE Michael Jackson hits, the Humpty Dance, and Ghostbusters. Enough to make Toast proclaim her love for him even though she was 150 miles away and has never heard him DJ.

Second, someone found my blog through a search for "A pozole is a traditional Mexican stew made of hominy, pork and chilies."

AND PEOPLE.

I disagree

2009-02-12T14:10:00.001-05:00

I've been testing the limits of my work's site blocking software, and here's the message I got when trying to access failblog:

"The category 'Tasteless' is blocked."

Come on, now, I think that's a matter of debate, don't you?

Fight the Cabs!

2009-02-11T09:36:00.003-05:00

My biggest pet peeve lately has been taxi drivers who keep their doors locked and force you to tell them your destination before letting you in. Of course, if they don't feel like taking you there (even if it's within DC), they just drive off. It's particularly bad on weekend evenings, and, after four of them pulled this stunt on me on Saturday, I double checked the DC Taxicab Commission's website to see if there isn't a law about this, and, sure enough, here's what I found:

Is there a circumstance when a driver can refuse to take on a passenger?

It is against the law to refuse a person based on race, disability or destination in the District of Columbia. A taxicab driver is required to drive a passenger to any destination in the District of Columbia. However, if the driver has been operating the taxicab for more than twelve (12) hours of any continuous twenty-four (24) hour period, or the vehicle is on-call or off-duty for mechanical or other reasons, then he/she may refuse to take on a passenger. (See rule 820). The driver, however, is required to display the “on-call” or “off-duty” or “out-of-service” signs indicating that the vehicle is out of service and must have the cruising light turned off indicating that the taxicab is not for hire. (See rule 605.6)

I copied down the tag number of one of the cabs, and filed a complaint. I don't expect them to actually do anything about it, but at least I feel better. The next time some driver gets offended that I want a ride from downtown to Van Ness, I'll be sure to do the same.

Bitchin

2009-02-09T20:26:00.002-05:00

What did I do this weekend?

Well, I joined Toast, her parents, her boyfriend, and HIS parents at the first meeting of the four older people. Much fun was had by all, especially my aunt. I then slept on said boyfriend's couch, which was cool, cause there were cats there (not as awesome as my buddy, but pretty sweet nonetheless).

I'd like to forget the events of Saturday night, except to say that I hate DC cabs. And I love breakfast.

Sunday was spent outside on the Mall, in a fun kickball game, and then at a bar. It was at this point that my fortunes turned. I ate what I thought was an excellent sandwich, only to fall ill about five hours later. I'm not sure that's what it was, but since my body has associated this nausea with it, the mere thought of this food turns my stomach. Yay.

So I spent today sleeping and drinking Gatorade.

Not in use

2009-02-04T20:06:00.003-05:00

I have been having issues with water lately. Namely, that there isn't enough of the kind I need when I need it.

My building has been running out of hot water in the mornings, so that when I get up there's nothing but ice cold H2O running through the pipes. I've adapted to this by showering at night, which makes my hair look bad, but is better than the alternative.

We've been told that this is going to take two weeks to fix. Yay!

This morning, the water was off in my office building. All 13 floors of it. Apparently, there was some issue with the cooling system, so they had to shut off the servers housed downstairs. Thank God they fixed that issue within an hour, or else they would have had to send us home! /sarcasm

Anyway, the water issue at work was particularly disturbing due to signs that have been posted over the fire alarms on my floor since Friday.

No sprinklers and no alarms! Fantastic!

Being Lazy

2009-02-03T21:53:00.001-05:00

Yes, I'm straight-up copying this list from my facebook note:

That 25 things list everyone's been doing

1. I believe that no one else in the world has my full name.

2. I hate olives. They're the only food I will pick out of a dish.

3. I don't really like wine.

4. I hated cats until I got to know Mr. PooBaby J. Verest.

5. I never thought Futurama was funny.

6. I love birthdays. Yours and mine.

7. My favorite Sunday of the year is Selection Sunday.

8. I love karaoke

9. I want to go to every country in Latin America.

10. Even though Brazil scares the hell out of me.

11. More than Colombia

12. I love Snoopy. But Rerun is my favorite Peanuts character.

13. I don't believe in fabric softener.

14. The most depressing place I've ever been is Syracuse, NY.

15. I haven't had a soda since April, 2006

16. Unless you count soda mixed with liquor.

17. When I was ten, I had to stop my sister from inadvertently helping someone steal our father's car.

18. I have no patience.

19. I was a proud Republican until age 12.

20. My parents hated that.

21. My favorite movie is Mean Girls.

22. My favorite Saturday of the year is the first Saturday of Rehoboth week.

23. I love the ocean.

24. It is the only part of nature that I am on good terms with.

25. Like Toast, I love all things ridiculous.

Isn't pale the new tan?

2009-02-02T21:34:00.002-05:00

One of the lawyers at work is headed to Miami in few weeks. He commented to his secretary, who sits next to me, that if he didn't get some sun soon he'd "be as pale as [M Slash]."

IT'S NOT MY FAULT I DIDN'T GET THE TANNING GENE! My father was German and Irish, and my mother's family tends to be of the paler Armenians. I got the gene that causes tens of new moles to spring up each summer. Oddly, though, I still have tan lines from last summer. I don't tan deeply, but it sticks around forever. Which, yes, means that I'm even paler than I appear.

Sigh.

$

2009-02-01T13:02:00.003-05:00

I played in my first poker tournament yesterday, and I'm pretty proud of how I did. Placed about 13/42, and then won all my money back in a cash game. My dreams of becoming my Aunt Zambo are getting closer to realization every day!

Happy Super Bowl, everyone! Think about the good things this site is trying to achieve when you're getting up for work tomorrow morning.

Enjoy!

2009-01-30T19:30:00.005-05:00

It's rather well known amonst my friends and family that I enjoy a good dose of Phil Collins. Well, Toast messaged me today to inform me that it is his birthday! My BFF's BF and I had some fun on gchat:

M Slash: 1/30/1951 - Phil Collins, English musician
BFF's BF: hhaa YES!
M Slash: when I get home, I'm going to blast some jams
BFF's BF: theres a girl thats been on my mind
ALL THE TIME
M Slash: sususudio
BFF's BF: hahah
gimmie a chance, gimmie a sign
i'll show her any time
M Slash: sususudiooooooo

And so, I'd like to dedicate this post to "PC".

Sussudio

In the Air Tonight

Something Happened on the Way to Heaven

Invisible Touch