Communists!

I got an email today with the subject line, "What Are You Doing for MayDay?" My first reaction was, "OMG, THE REPUBLICANS WERE RIGHT...WE'RE COMMUNISTS NOW!" Because the one thing I will NOT be doing on May 1st is celebrating Communist Labor Day. While I will not rule out dancing around a maypole, as that is acceptably capitalist, it is not likely. I am a good American, and the only holiday I celebrate in early May is Cinco de Mayo.

Actually, it turns out the email was about some fake holiday libraries and FEMA set up to "preserve our history." Communists.

Happy Friday!

This has made the rounds on the interwebs, but it's pretty neat:

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Hey people at McDonalds: Can you please not look so pissed off when I ask for the dressing for my salad? All you have to do is turn around, take a step (or perhaps two) and open the fridge under the counter behind you. Yes, it's lunchtime, but an extra two second wait never caused anyone to walk out.*

* This is likely not true. Hell, it's probably caused ME to walk out.

FINALLY

I went to a DC United tailgate today organized by NAKID. And by tailgate I mean I did not leave the parking lot for the entire game. Why would I, when there was free food and beer? Who needs a soccer game when you've got that?

The highlight, though, was not the five kegs of Coors Light. Two tents down from us, someone had hung the flag of Cordoba province with the words, YO AMO RIO IV. I quickly spotted someone in an Argentine national team jersey, and kept my eye on him. About an hour later, I got a chance to talk to him, and, sure enough, he was from Cordoba. He complimented my Spanish (a bit generous of him) and, surprised that I knew of the town from which he came, gave me a free t-shirt. It's an XL, but who cares? FREE.

After the game ended, and Rob finished cooking burgers, we headed to H Street and hung out at The Pug, where I got free cheeseballs and saw a homeless man passed out in the men's room. It's an up-and-coming neighborhood.

Another letter

Dear Maggie Moo's on 10th St NW,

I was all excited for your free scoop giveaway yesterday, and I walked the three blocks to your location from my office building in the rain without an umbrella, eager to sample your goods. How great was my disappointment when I saw the sign posted on your door saying that your staff was in training, and so you would not be participating in the promotion? Not too great, actually, as I've never tried your ice cream. My anger, though, was at a high level. I was all in the mood for ice cream, so I went around the corner to Gifford's. You can bet I'll never visit you guys in the future, since you don't even care enough about wooing customers to postpone training for another day. Seriously, are you doing that well in this recession that you can afford to say, "Screw it, we don't need to win over new customers! Let them keep going to Ben and Jerry's or Gifford's!" Because I sort of doubt the attractiveness of premium ice cream in this economy.

Yours,

M Slash

Yeah, You!

FOUND: A note left in the trash closet by someone threatening to lay the smack down in my building:



Lesson: Don't leave your receipt from a delivery order with your phone number in the bag with the food.

RIP, Harry

A great voice was silenced today. Like most Phillies fans of my generation, I grew up listening to Harry Kalas and Richie Ashburn do the play-by-play and color. Even though the team was horrible for most of those years, it was always worth tuning in just to hear them call the game. My first Phillies-related memory is Mike Schmidt's retirement at the Vet, and hearing Harry do a home-run call for him for the last time. When I was about eight, I used to use the remote as a microphone and pretend to be calling the game in the booth with them. Everything was better when he was the announcer: baseball, NFL documentaries, the Puppy Bowl, Campbells soup commercials.

A sad day for Philadelphia. As David Montgomery said, "We lost our voice today."

An open letter

Dear Prospective Georgetown Undergrads,

Hello. I am a 2005 graduate of the fine university you're considering attending. I am also a prospective graduate student for the fall, and spent the day on campus for an open house. As such, I'd like to share some things with you:

Good Lord, are you all a spoiled bunch.

Now, please don't take that personally. It's just that, after seeing the changes that have happened in the four years since I graduated, I can't believe how the University is coddling you. Have you seen the food court in the Leavey Center? I bet you were all, "Oh, huh, a Taco Bell, KFC, and Subway. That's kinda cool." I, on the other hand, thought, "JESUS CHRISTMAS! They have a KFC now?!? WTF?"

You see, when I was an innocent freshman, the food court had two sandwich shops (not Subway), a pizza place selling the exact same pizza found in the dining hall, and a Taco Bell express. My sophomore year, they got rid of Taco Bell, and replaced it with an empty space. NO ONE ate here. Maybe some campus visitors who didn't know any better, but if we had to be in Hoya Court we made sure to get something from Vittles or Uncommon Grounds. And you had to get to Vittles early to make sure you got something decent. Now I hear rumors of a Cosi?!? You know when I first ate at Cosi? When I was 22 and an alumna, that's when! If we wanted Subway, we had to walk 1/2 mile both ways, uphill, in the snow, to Wisconsin or M. Burger King? Rosslyn. KFC? HA!

Moving on. The on-campus bar. The one mere steps away from where I lived my sophomore and senior years. The one that used to be a dining hall that wasn't open on the weekends. Do you know what we had to do if we wanted to drink at 5? We walked across campus to the Tombs, the way John Carroll intended. Yes, it was cold in winter, and, yes, the campus is one big wind tunnel, but so much greater was the joy of arriving in the basement of 36th and Prospect. Sure, we could have gone to Hoyas, but who the hell went to Hoyas?

Anyway, I just wanted to share these thoughts with you. Oh, and please turn your music down and get the hell off my lawn.

Thank you,

M Slash

Where

the hell have I been? I had NO IDEA stamps were going up again, until I saw a sign in my mailroom dated Feb. 11th. I still don't see the point of buying forever stamps, since I use about 15 stamps a year, so 44 cents it is!

VICTORY!

My Thursday night team won yesterday, an amazing feat when you consider that we only won one game during the winter season, and that was due to a forfeit. As one of my teammates said, we were always an outdoor team trapped inside. Also, we only played two and a half innings due to a delayed start and darkness, and the captains on the other team didn't show. But our victory stands!

That was a good end to an exhausting day. There was a major round of layoffs at work yesterday, and even though I strongly suspected my job was safe (it was), it was still stressful. Luckily, my friends made it through unscathed, but our floor is going to look very different next week.