WHAT!?

Looks like someone else enjoyed the late hours the bars were keeping this weekend!

Off to suffer through my 3 day workweek. Life is hard.

Plea for help

I have recently learned that one of my former roommates has fleas (no, not that one. Or that one). It's a new experience for him, as he's not allowed outside and has never lived with a dog or outdoor cat. Please, people, look at this poor creature and think of how he's suffering:


He is losing his hair, partly from the scratching and partly from the stress over losing his hair. Medication is on the way; it had to be special ordered and cost more than the standard, as, despite the picture above, he is into the "husky" sizes. I hear that he currently hates everyone in his immediate vicinity, a departure from his normal self, when he only hates everyone 70% of the time.

Please send him wishes for a speedy recovery!

A word of warning

Dear old roommate's new roommate,

It has come to my attention that you are exposing a young, impressionable child to traumatizing and disgusting things such as Jackass 2. This darling baby should not be watching such movies:



Please think about the examples you're setting.

Thank you,

M Slash

P.S. Let's do karaoke again soon.

I'm not with him, so I must be against him

The cat has been trying to escape lately, by sprinting towards the door when it's opened. I think he believes he's meant for great things, but we're holding him back by keeping him in the house.
Of course, after watching him with bugs he finds in the house, I think we're doing the world a tremendous service by not letting him out. He doesn't kill insects, he just tortures them, batting them around with his paws and then giving me accusatory looks when I put them out of their misery. Well, cat, when you get your own house, you can violate the Geneva Conventions all you want!
Pictured: The dictator surveying his territory from above.

He may be a bit of an attention whore

I was home alone the other night, and, since we only have another month left together, thought the cat and I could have some quality time. He wasn't anywhere to be seen, so I called and called his name. He finally walked to the bottom of the steps and gave me a look that clearly said, "Jesus Christ, WHAT? Is the house on fire? Did someone die? Did I run out of food?" No amount of calling could get him up the steps, until I said, "I showed your picture to people at work today, and they all commented on how handsome you are!" He then raced up the stairs to hear more about his adoring fans.

Let this be a lesson

None of us were home much this weekend, so the cat took the opportunity to throw a raging party, as teenagers are wont to do. There was some destruction:


We didn't have to punish him, though, because he clearly paid for his choices later:

Illusions of grandeur

Last night, I heard a loud crash from downstairs at about 11. Since I was already in bed, I (rightly) figured it must have been the cat getting into trouble. Guess who decided he didn't like the blinds in the dining room!
At 6:00, he must have become concerned that my feet were cold, and so attempted to warm them up with his claws and teeth. By the time I finally got up an hour and a half later, he had taken to attacking me through a plastic bag. Clearly, he was trying to fashion himself a cape and fight crime. I'm not sure what kind of superhero eats weight control IAMS with added hairball control, but I guess there's a first for everything.

Animals love me

I had to stop my roommate's cat from eating a rubber band last night. He's clearly so distraught at thought of not living with me in two months that he's trying to commit suicide. It's really the only possible explanation.
Pictured: Said cat in his younger, thinner years.