Hey people at McDonalds: Can you please not look so pissed off when I ask for the dressing for my salad? All you have to do is turn around, take a step (or perhaps two) and open the fridge under the counter behind you. Yes, it's lunchtime, but an extra two second wait never caused anyone to walk out.*

* This is likely not true. Hell, it's probably caused ME to walk out.

Some realizations I've had lately

Searching has been much more fun ever since I discovered the "Elmer Fudd" language setting

Captain Kirk was better because he finds us cheap airfare and hotel rates

If someone you've just met refuses to get you a glowstick, he will eventually give in if you keep referring to him as "guy who wouldn't get me a glowstick."

McDonald's used to be racist against the Irish

My ode to silly hats will never make into our departmental newsletter (I even left room for it this quarter!)

Green apples make an excellent addition to a turkey sandwich

I am much better at trivia nights where the average age is under 35

Anyone who asks, after an hour of playing flipcup with no other drinking, "How does one know when one is drunk?" is NOT someone you want to be hanging out with later in the evening

I wish the Heat Miser were real, and that he'd save me from this damn season

Stay strong, winners!

They're not eating Happy Meals because they lost, they lost because they eat Happy Meals!

I could go for a sausage McGriddles, btw.