I was hanging out with some people on Thursday, two of whom were relatively new to DC (6-8 months here). I forget how we got on the topic, but we started talking about Wonderland, which I said I didn't like because there are too many hipsters there. One of the newbies piped up with, "Hipsters don't go to Wonderland! It's a dive bar!"
...
Yes. According to this very nice, if misled, young man, Wonderland is not a hipster bar. For those of you outside DC, Wonderland is a bar in a gentrifying neighborhood that serves beer in goblets to people wearing ironic clothes. In fact, I believe anyone who dares to do anything un-ironically while there is thrown out. They offer the right mix of "exotic" beers and, as they call them, "great American standards":
Jesus, they have an exclamation point after Pabst Blue Ribbon! PABST BLUE RIBBON! Or, as you may know it, THE hipster beer of choice. (Although I guess they also enjoy Miller Highlife? I'm gonna say it right now: Keystone will be next.) This is damning evidence, because no one would get that excited about PBR unless they're wearing skinny jeans, converse high-tops, and a flannel shirt.
Hell, type in hipster and DC in Yelp, and look at what you get:
I rest my case.
I am pleased to announce that I have emerged victorious in my fight against the Man. I went to traffic court yesterday to fight the parking ticket that was wrongly issued to me (or, at least, to a Subaru with the same tag number as my Pontiac), and had the ticket dismissed in about 3 minutes. The judge did a double-take when I answered “No” to the question “This ticket was issued to a Subaru with license plate number …, is this correct?”, and things just went uphill from there.
Shockingly (or not so), my story was not the most appalling of the group. One poor woman parked illegally in a street cleaning zone, got towed to a rush hour zone, then got towed from there to a meter, resulting in three tickets in a matter of hours. Luckily, the judge found the towing records in the system to verify her story, and dismissed the last two tickets. I assume that the towing company chose those spots on purpose so they could continue ticketing and get some sort of financial "thank you" from the city. Oh, DC!
I was driving over to a friend's house last night, when I noticed that there was something on my windshield. I pulled over to grab it, thinking I had gotten a ticket for missing street cleaning or something. No. It was a parking ticket for not having a parking permit displayed. The brilliant officer put the ticket on my windshield RIGHT NEXT TO WHERE MY PARKING PERMIT IS PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED. Moreover, the ticket has my tag number and state, but lists the car as a 3-door Subaru, when I drive a 5-door Pontiac.
How did this happen?
Either DC has started allowing illiterates in their parking enforcement corps; this man is a complete idiot; or he saw a 3-door Subaru the first time he drove through and then thought my car was the same one.
Now I have to go fight this ticket, all because of this man's inability to notice a sticker on my windshield. No other traffic cop has had this problem.
I can't wait to tell all the lawyers at work about this.
Washington, DC: The Recession Vacation Capital of the USA! Or at least the parts of the USA within a reasonable driving distance. I admit that I've never been to the Tidal Basin during the festival, because I'm of the belief that if you've seen one cherry blossom, you've seen them all, and the trees further up the Mall work just as well, are less crowded, and can be seen easily during my lunch break.
My biggest pet peeve lately has been taxi drivers who keep their doors locked and force you to tell them your destination before letting you in. Of course, if they don't feel like taking you there (even if it's within DC), they just drive off. It's particularly bad on weekend evenings, and, after four of them pulled this stunt on me on Saturday, I double checked the DC Taxicab Commission's website to see if there isn't a law about this, and, sure enough, here's what I found:
I copied down the tag number of one of the cabs, and filed a complaint. I don't expect them to actually do anything about it, but at least I feel better. The next time some driver gets offended that I want a ride from downtown to Van Ness, I'll be sure to do the same.
I'm heading off to work with the hope that our nation's capital will continue it's fine tradition of bravery in the face of inclement winter weather and let everyone out early today.
Fingers crossed, people!
I have heard two different DC residents in the last month say that their vote doesn't count because DC has no electoral vote. Where the hell is this idea coming from? Scratch that, I know the answer: those license plates that say "Taxation Without Representation". People! That just means we have no votes in the Senate or House! DC has 3 electoral votes, the same as Delaware, and your vote on Tuesday helps determine who gets them. Now, if you want to argue that your vote will not matter, that's another story. But go vote!
If no congressional representation and a higher likelihood of being called for jury duty weren't bad enough, I found out today that my imminent move to the District means my tax dollars will be spent on this appalling plan. Oh, you say kids will prefer getting paid as opposed to serving detentions or attending summer school? How insightful of you! Hey, I've shown up to work every day this week, should I ask my boss for a little extra money on my next paycheck? It'll really encourage me to come back on Monday!
As my co-worker said, I don't know if I'm outraged or dumbfounded, or both. What does Michelle Rhee think will happen when these kids enter the working world? People already think MY generation expects praise for doing what we're expected to, but we're going to seem like Tom Brokaw's Greatest Generation compared to the ones growing up now.
Now, if you excuse me, I've got to get the kids off my lawn before I can leave for my canasta tournament.
