Now, let's talk about your commercials

I woke up at 7:30 today, researched and registered for classes, then slept from 10:30-1:30. And I'm beat.

This past weekend was a blur of orientations, driving, crab feasting, and kickballing. The annual crab feast was as good a time as ever, and even included a random fireworks show from the next town over (and not from my aunt's yard, as is sometimes the case). I drove back to Wilmington in the worst rain ever, so bad that I had to pull into the parking lot of a CVS for 20 minutes. It made me miss brunch the next day, since I had to get up early on Sunday to drive back to DC. I hate missing brunch.

Anyway, I need to go to bed. But enjoy this informative link: http://iscaliforniaonfire.com/

Wow

Well done, Post editors! It's not like he's from a district that might matter to any of your readers, right? Michigan, Montgomery County, all the same!

DC to DE and back

Not working is all well and good, until Tuesday evening comes and you're bored out of your mind. I've already tried my top boredom solution, taking a nap, so now I'm bored and well-rested.

I got up at 7 today, which is earlier than I had been getting up for work these last few months, and took my car in for an oil change in one of the saddest strip malls in the greater Wilmington area. There's only so much time you can kill at Sears. There isn't, though, a limit on how many sandwiches you can get from Wawa, and so I had it for lunch for the second day in a row. I have a feeling it'll be calling my name this weekend as well.

On a final note, businesses that have a minimum credit card purchase are one of my biggest pet peeves. I should print that article and take it around with me, because they never believe me.

No...just, no

Changes have been afoot here at the M Slash compound, as last Friday was my last day at work and this Friday is grad school orientation. I have spent my free time bedazzling shirts and hanging with kickball kids, so I feel it's been a good few days.

I head reffed a kickball game yesterday, and was flattered when someone on the losing team said I did a great job, "except for that one missed call." Wanting to know about any mistakes I made, I asked what it was.

"Well, bases were loaded, and I was on third. When I was running home, the catcher never tagged me, he just touched the base, so I should have been safe."

I kept asking him to repeat this, thinking I had misunderstood. "But, bases were loaded, right? And you were on 3rd? And he tagged home plate?" His answer: "Yeah, but since it was a force play, they had to tag me, not the base."

I, obviously, started laughing hysterically and telling everyone on the patio. A bitch move, yes, but if you don't know a rule that's taught in T-ball, dude, I can't help you.

Fun with graphs!

I spent Thursday night at a bar. Guess when I found out that the Eagles had signed Michael Vick!

DC Hipsters

I was hanging out with some people on Thursday, two of whom were relatively new to DC (6-8 months here). I forget how we got on the topic, but we started talking about Wonderland, which I said I didn't like because there are too many hipsters there. One of the newbies piped up with, "Hipsters don't go to Wonderland! It's a dive bar!"

...

Yes. According to this very nice, if misled, young man, Wonderland is not a hipster bar. For those of you outside DC, Wonderland is a bar in a gentrifying neighborhood that serves beer in goblets to people wearing ironic clothes. In fact, I believe anyone who dares to do anything un-ironically while there is thrown out. They offer the right mix of "exotic" beers and, as they call them, "great American standards":


Jesus, they have an exclamation point after Pabst Blue Ribbon! PABST BLUE RIBBON! Or, as you may know it, THE hipster beer of choice. (Although I guess they also enjoy Miller Highlife? I'm gonna say it right now: Keystone will be next.) This is damning evidence, because no one would get that excited about PBR unless they're wearing skinny jeans, converse high-tops, and a flannel shirt.

Hell, type in hipster and DC in Yelp, and look at what you get:



I rest my case.

Fun with checks

So, I'm going to run out of checks soon. What do you all think of this selection for my next set?

Or these, which I think send the perfect message to those to whom I'm indebted.

I AM moving to the South.

If you have to cut down on the amount of money you're giving for Christmas or Easter, here's a great set to fend off any complaints with a good old-fashioned guilt trip.

And, finally, I refuse to purchase these, since I only choose to remember skinny Elvis.

Metro's Saunas

Has anyone else noticed a high number of cars on the Red Line that are without a functioning cooling system? I was on another one today, and I knew before I stepped into the car that it was going to be a sauna, what with the haze visible through the windows and the number of seats vacant at 8:50 AM at Van Ness. Nevertheless, I got on, because I wanted a seat, dammit. And I think the car in front of it had the same problem.

I'm glad I only have two more weeks or riding the Red Line regularly, although I never thought I'd say that I'm looking forward to the Orange Line. I think the bus and I are going to be good friends.

Dates

This post by Young Old Crone got me thinking about the dates I've gone on in the past year. There's been the guy who didn't like to do anything on the weekends, the guy with a unibrow, the guy who might be a bit racialist, and, my favorite, the guy(s) who thought it was a date when I didn't. Although that might be more my fault than theirs. Still made for an uncomfortable evening, though.

The worst, though, has been the ones who wish to impart some tidbits of knowledge to me. It may not be that they intended for me to interpret this as though they believe me to be an idiot, but, alas. From the post last week with Mr. "Colombia is a dangerous place" to the unibrow, who offered to read my graduate school admissions essays because, "It's always a good idea to have others review them." This, from a person who had told me, rather proudly, that he "only failed two classes in college." I believe my response to that boast was, "....okayyyy." Maybe it's because I tend to assume that everyone knows the same things I do (hence my disbelief when people didn't know what Bastille Day was), but "helpful" tips such as those just make me angry. Maybe because I then think that they imagine themselves as the worldly, intelligent man guiding a woman through the world. Maybe I read too much into it. Either way, it's the fasttrack to farewell-ville.

OK, MARK!

I hate having to entertain myself on Sundays. Luckily, kickball starts again next week, so I'll have something to do from 3 on (12 on, if we do bottomless mimosas at the bar beforehand!).

I did nothing today. Watched a movie, napped, and then watched TV. It hasn't been as lazy as a normal non-kickball Sunday, though, since I have to keep my apartment in order so my landlord can show people around this week. Yes, I am moving! To Ballston! I am excited to live so close to the As Seen on TV Store. Although the last time I was there, they didn't have a ShamWow, just fake ShamWows. It was disappointing, as I need the branding for the full effect of owning a ShamWow.