Jackpot!

As I detailed in a previous post, I've had some traumatizing experiences as the youngest of 13 grandchildren. While I still hold that title, (although there are now 16 great-grandchildren after me) things have been on the upswing recently.

You see, I’m the only grandchild who’s an only child (well, half-only child, but it’s that half that matters here) and the only one whose parents have passed away. Don’t feel too sorry for me, however, because I’ve recently discovered some perks that come with my unique situation.

For example, my oldest uncle is turning 80 in October. He had a huge bash for his 75th and demanded everyone’s attendance. I was granted a dispensation only because I happened to be in Buenos Aires for school. It was apparently a great time, so I was looking forward to attending a similar celebration this year. Well, there were no plans for an 80th birthday party until he managed to commandeer a gift certificate that his son won at church. He’s entitled to dinner for 20 from a caterer, so 20 people there will be at this party. To simplify things, only his children, grandchildren, and siblings-in-law are invited, meaning the rest of us would be left out in the cold. I was rather indignant when I heard about this plan, and quickly voiced my opposition, ready to lead a call to arms on behalf of my cousins. His wife rushed to assure me that I was, in fact, on the guest list, because I’d be representing my parents. I ceased war preparations at once, because, guess what! I’ve moved up in rank! Screw you guys!

Of course, as with any promotion, there have also been more responsibilities. I won’t call out my relatives who are giving me more jobs than perks here on this blog, but let’s just say that I hope my aunt isn’t counting on my help next June when she’s taking down her Christmas tree.