SCONE WATCH: ZERO HOUR

I sing of arms and the man, he who, exiled by fate,
first came from the coast of Troy to Italy, and to
Lavinian shores – hurled about endlessly by land and sea,
by the will of the gods, by cruel Juno's remorseless anger,
long suffering also in war, until he founded a city
and brought his gods to Latium: from that the Latin people
came, the lords of Alba Longa, the walls of noble Rome.

Muse, tell me the cause: how was she offended in her

divinity,

how was she grieved, the Queen of Heaven, to drive a man,
noted for virtue, to endure such dangers, to face so many
trials? Can there be such anger in the minds of the gods?

-Vergil, The Aeneid, Book 1:1-11

Friends, I bring you a message from our long-suffering scone-lover:

"I have some harrowing news to report. I visited Starbucks this morning only to find the pumpkin loaf was out but no scone. I inquired about the scone and the surly Barista told me that Starbucks will not be carrying them this year. When I replied that I had spoken with powers higher up, he told me to petition them again. I tried to call headquarters and this time no answer of quality. (Not even transfer to the right department or to the elusive Gloria) Sad to report, I'm saturated in disappointment as I feel as though Starbucks has lied to me. If the Barista is in fact telling the truth than my disappointment will soon turn to disillusionment with Starbucks as an institution. As the disturbed Fortunato once stated 'I can bear a thousand injuries but not a single insult.' (Paraphrasing of course) I am now wavering on the line of insult with Starbucks. I beg that you plead my case to the public sphere and appeal to the benevolent nature of Starbucks where perhaps the faithful corporation will redress my grievance with the utmost expediency. While I have lost faith in my daily grind, I certainly have not lost faith in the system of collective appeal. Given the grave nature of this situation, I would still prefer to remain shrouded from public eyes as I can continue to advocate for the sanctity of the scone. "

As you can see, the situation has reached a critical point. Our comrade above has been forced to leave his job, so dedicated is he to the noble search. I urge you all to contact your local Starbucks branch(es) and demand they serve this classic fall treat.